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Not A Real Professional

Can you do a talk? of course, I can, 

How much? We don't have money for that, 

you can have lunch on us. As you’re not a

real professional.


I have a lived experience of residential care

the loss, the pain, the rejection. The real 

professional's telling me they care yet   

they left and abandoned me.


Please can you do an article. We would love 

to share your story. Yes, how much are you 

paying. There is no budget for that. We will 

buy your train ticket or petrol as you’re not a

real professional.


I trusted real professionals. I believed their words. 

They let me down. They lied and did not do their 

part. They disappeared out of my life. Professionals 

who never saw the chaos the disorder or 

confusion they had caused.


I've seen your twitter post; can you tell me more.

I'm interested in your opinion. Will you do a podcast we have no money, but you can have a voucher. As you’re not a real professional.


I shut down. I stopped believing. I built my wall

high and thick. I learnt it was me against the 

professionals. The professionals who had control. 

Who didn't really care. Who did not have my interests at heart.   I was just a job to them. They moved on. A new house, a marriage or promotion.


I heard you talk are you interested in pouring your

 guts out, your shame, your abuse. We can’t pay you as you’re not a real professional. But think, how much good you can do!


I grew up all alone. I learnt to survive and cope. Facing so many obstacles along the way. no one had my back. No one to guide me. And most of all no one by my side supporting me.


Being told over and over again, I'm not a real professional so unworthy of pay.


I had so many challenges to face. I handled them all head on I could not fail. My childhood stolen from me. My teens in disarray. I had to believe I was worthy of more no matter what the real professionals said.


We are doing research can you take part we want to add filming a conference to. no offer off travel or expenses, because you're not

a real professional.  I aged out of care an sent on my way. My file stamped fit for release into society.


If being a real professional in not being true to your word

only ever reading the book. But never lived it, then you can stuff being a real professional.


I don't fit in your box of what you think is a real professional

should be. Because I tell and share my story my way. The way I

 keep myself safe and cared for. As no one else will.


My story My life. Is not your presentation all neat and tidy

 at the click of a button or as an audio slide. Does that really

 mean I'm not a real professional?


Jackie McCartney

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